Caption This

This week, I'm asking you to look at the picture below and create a story from what you see. What you write can either be dialogue, narration, or an exhaustive backstory. It is up to you. You have complete control. I expect a respectable length in regard to whichever way you choose to write.

Step Up to the Template

This week is about building a good thesis. What follows is a template for a good opening argument--an extended thesis. Discuss a topic (censorship, school policies, etc.) within this template. Use it to state your view and the opposing view. Publish the comment when all of the blanks have been appropriately filled.


In recent discussions of _________________________, a controversial issue has been whether _________________________. On the one hand, some argue that _________________________. From this perspective, _________________________. On the other hand, however, others argue that _________________________. According to this view, _________________________. In sum, then, the issue is whether ________________________ or ________________________.

Improvised Speech Drama

This week, create a short script in which conflict and confusion are caused by different kinds of pronunciation and speech patterns. Choose some characters who speak differently and come from different social classes and backgrounds--for example, your grandmother, an emo kid, a cheerleader, an honor student, a former boyfriend or girlfriend, a jock.
Choose a place and situation: for example, it's Thanksgiving dinner and your sister just started dating the emo kid and your grandmother disapproves.
Then, write a scene with dialogue for these characters.

Here is an example featuring a grandma, a rap star, and a cheerleader at dinner.

RAP STAR: Yo yo, G-ma, slip me some poes.
GRANDMA: Pardon?
CHEERLEADER: Duh, grandma. He's all like, "Pass the poes," and you, like, don't get it. he totally wants the potatoes.
GRANDMA: Then he should have asked that in the first place.


Your scene is expected to be much longer than this, with at least eight lines written for each character. A ending punchline would be nice.

Nevermore

Below is an excerpt from Edgar Allan Poe's The Raven. It is notorious for its use of alliteration and internal rhyme. Pay attention to these elements and the rhythm of the poetry, and respond with a poem of your own (2-3 stanzas) that mirrors this style.

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
"'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door —
Only this, and nothing more."

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; — vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow — sorrow for the lost Lenore —
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore —
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me — filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating,
"'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door —
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; —
This it is, and nothing more."

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
"Sir," said I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you"— here I opened wide the door; —
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Lenore?"
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Lenore!" —
Merely this, and nothing more.

Hate Poetry?

Read the following poem, and pay attention to the way it was written.
When you have a grasp on the style, write your own poem (2-3 stanzas) in the same way, playing on a different emotion than hate.

Hate Poem
Julie Sheehan

I hate you truly. Truly I do.
Everything about me hates everything about you.
The flick of my wrist hates you.
The way I hold my pencil hates you.
The sound made by my tiniest bones were they trapped
in the jaws of a moray eel hates you.
Each corpuscle singing in its capillary hates you.

Look out! Fore! I hate you.

The blue-green jewel of sock lint I’m digging
from under by third toenail, left foot, hates you.
The history of this keychain hates you.
My sigh in the background as you explain relational databases
hates you.
The goldfish of my genius hates you.
My aorta hates you. Also my ancestors.

A closed window is both a closed window and an obvious
symbol of how I hate you.

My voice curt as a hairshirt: hate.
My hesitation when you invite me for a drive: hate.
My pleasant “good morning”: hate.
You know how when I’m sleepy I nuzzle my head
under your arm? Hate.
The whites of my target-eyes articulate hate. My wit
practices it.
My breasts relaxing in their holster from morning
to night hate you.
Layers of hate, a parfait.
Hours after our latest row, brandishing the sharp glee of hate,
I dissect you cell by cell, so that I might hate each one
individually and at leisure.
My lungs, duplicitous twins, expand with the utter validity
of my hate, which can never have enough of you,
Breathlessly, like two idealists in a broken submarine.

Combine These Sentences

Combine the following short sentences into one longer sentence and then combine all of the sentences into one paragraph.


Ben Franklin was a printer.
He began his own printing business.
Benjamin was 24 when he started it.
Benjamin Franklin was married.
Ben was married when he was 26.
Ben Franklin married Deborah Read.
Benjamin Franklin retired from business.
Ben retired when he was 40 years old.
When Benjamin was 40 he was wealthy.
Benjamin Franklin retired.
Ben worked after he retired.
After retirement he did scientific work.
After retirement he did public work.
Benjamin Franklin was a famous man.
Ben is called the “first American.”
Benjamin had many fine qualities.
Ben put God before himself.
Ben put his country before himself.

Everyday Editing

Copy and Paste the following paragraphs into the comment box, and edit them for mistakes.


Theodore Roosevelt was born in New York city on October 27, 1858. He become the 26th prezident of the United States when president McKinley died. Roosevelt oversaw construction of the Panama Canal. He won the nobel Peace Prize for his role in bring the Russo-Japanese War to a peace full end. Did you know that the "Teddy bare" was named for Roosevelt. One of his favorite quotes was an old proverb: "Speak softly and carry a big stick.


On October 13 1792 the cornerstone was laid for a building that is now the oldest in Washington D.C. Designed by irish architect James Hoban, this 100-room building is the home of the president and his family. The building was given the name "White House" about ten years after it's construction the White House was burned down by british troops in 1814, but it was rebuild with in three years.


Have you been to Mount Rushmore. Sixty-foot-tall faces of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln are carved in to Mount Rushmores stone hills. When sculptor Gutzon Borglum first saw mount Rushmore, he said, America will march along that skyline." Borglum begun work in 1927 but he died before the work was finished. The work was complete by his son, Lincoln on October 31, 1941.

Paragraph Puzzle

Read the following sentences and try to reorder them in the correct order. Pay close attention to what needs to come first, and which sentence others depend on.


11. Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, chief.
21. It was comin' back, from the island of Tinian Delady, just delivered the bomb.
31. The Hiroshima bomb.
1. Eleven hundred men went into the water.
2. Thirteen footer.
3. `Cause our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent.
4. So we formed ourselves into tight groups.
5. Right into your eyes.
6. And then, ah then you hear that terrible high pitch screamin' and the ocean turns red and spite of all the poundin' and the hollerin' they all come in and rip you to pieces.
7. I don't know how many men, they averaged six an hour.
8. Up ended.
9. You know that was the time I was most frightened?
10. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.
11. Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, chief.
12. Vessel went down in twelve minutes.
13. You know, you know that when you're in the water, chief?
14. They didn't even list us overdue for a week.
15. And the idea was, the shark would go for nearest man and then he'd start poundin' and hollerin' and screamin' and sometimes the shark would go away.
16. You know the thing about a shark, he's got...lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eye.
17. Y'know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men!
18. On Thursday mornin' chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland.
19. Well... he'd been bitten in half below the waist.
20. Waitin' for my turn.
21. It was comin' back, from the island of Tinian Delady, just delivered the bomb.
22. Didn't see the first shark for about a half an hour.
23. You tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail.
24. Very first light, chief.
25. Sometimes he wouldn't go away.
26. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'.
27. I don't know how many sharks, maybe a thousand!
28. I thought he was asleep, reached over to wake him up.
29. Noon the fifth day, a Lockheed Ventura saw us, he swung in low and he saw us and come in low.
30. I'll never put on a lifejacket again.
31. The Hiroshima bomb.
32. Tiger.
33. Well, we didn't know.
34. The sharks come cruisin'.
35. Sometimes that shark, he looks right into you.
36. Until he bites ya and those black eyes roll over white.
37. Bobbed up and down in the water, just like a kinda top.
38. And three hours later a big fat PBY comes down and start to pick us up.
39. So, eleven hundred men went in the water, three hundred and sixteen men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the 29, 1945.


You may simply write the correct order of numbers in your comment.

Apprenticeship

This week we're turning our attention towards style. How the author writes is just as important as what the author writes. Read the following passage from Frank McCourt's Angela's Ashes, and pay attention to not only how he uses descriptive phrases, but also how he incorporates dialogue into the scene.


The worst thing in the world is to be sleeping in your dead grandmother's bed wearing her black dress when your uncle The Abbot falls on his arse outside South's pub after a night of drinking pints and people who can't mind their own business rush to Aunt Aggie's house to tell her so that she gets Uncle Pa Keating to help her carry the Abbot home and upstairs to where you're sleeping and she barks at you, What are you doin' in this house, in that bed? Get up and put on the kettle for tea for your poor uncle Pat that fell down, and when you don't move she pulls the blankets and falls backward like one seeing a ghost and yelling Mother o'God what are you doin' in me dead mother's dress?
That's the worst thing of all because it's hard to explain that you're getting ready for the big job in your life, that you washed your clothes, they're drying abroad on the line, and it was so cold you had to wear the only thing you could find in the house, and it's even harder to talk to Aunt Aggie when The Abbot is groaning in the bed, Me feet is like a fire, put water on me feet, and Uncle Pa Keating is covering his mouth with his hand and collapsing against the wall laughing and telling you that you look gorgeous and black suits you and would you ever straighten your hem. You don't know what to do when Aunt Aggie tells you, Get out of that bed and put the kettle on downstairs for tea for your poor uncle. Should you take off the dress and put on a blanket or should you go as you are? One minute she's screaming, What are you doin' in me poor mother's dress? the next she's telling you put on that bloody kettle.


As a response, write a paragraph or two that reflects this style: run-on sentences, unquoted dialogue, and conversational language. It can be about anything you choose, and it doesn't have to be written in the same Irish brogue of McCourt, but it must include those things.

If this blog was any lamer...

...I wouldn't care if I got the 20 points or not.

This week's activity is simple: complete all of the following "if" clauses using the following passage as inspiration.


If this were a movie, I'd probably have to kill off my father in the first scene.
Paul Acampora, Defining Dulcie


If my life were a country song...

If this were a comedy...

If my life were a movie...

If this were a football game...

If this were an episode of The Hills...

If this were a TV show...

If my life were a rap song...

Direct Imitation

The following passages are sentences that are distinctly structured. More specifically, they are perfect examples of how you can creatively present lists in your writing. To practice this, I am asking you to create your own sentences using the four models below. You need to create original ways to present these models, though the task is essentially replacing words for words.
Templates are under each passage to guide you.
Refer back to the previous entry for submission rules and grading information.


His room smelled of cooked grease, Lysol, and age.
Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

[place] smells of [thing], [thing], and [thing].


The deputy told me to empty my pockets: two quarters, a penny, a stick of bubble gum, and a roll of grip tape for my skateboard.
Carl Hiassen, Flush

[person] told me to empty my [thing]: [list of three or more things].


That semester I was enrolled in seven classes--math, English, shop, history, gym, French, and chicken.
Gorgon Korman, The Chicken Doesn't Skate

The dash is describing the seven classes. Create a sentence that does this (I bought four things at the store--milk, eggs, bread, and ice cream.)


My papa's hair is like a broom, all up in the air. And me, my hair is lazy. It never obeys barrettes or bands. Carlos's hair is thick and straight. He doesn't need to comb it. Nenny's hair is slippery--it slides out of your hand. And Kiki, who is the youngest, has hair like fur.
Sandra Cisneros, The House on Mango Street.

This sentence focuses on just one characteristic of several people. Do this same with your friends/family using a different feature than hair.

Let's get started, shall we?

The first activity that we will do this school year is, admittedly, not much fun. I promise that it is the first and last of its kind, though. It's rather simple: Follow this link to an online grammar test, and complete it to the best of your abilities. Remember to provide a name at the beginning.
When you have finished the test, press Submit and review what you scored right or wrong. Copy and Paste these results into the "Leave your comment" box of this blog entry; also, remember to choose the Name/URL identity and use the number I assigned you in the Name box. When you publish your comment, I will review your results and promptly delete them... your classmates will never see them.

You have until 9:00 pm, Thursday, to complete this test and submit the results to this blog. As always, if you have any questions or worries, please talk to me at school. Do not post concerns on this blog. This activity is worth 20 points, and so will every activity that follows on this blog.


If the above link does not work, the test can be found here: http://www.kristisiegel.com/grammartest2.html
And any questions might want to first be run through Daily Writing Tips before they come to me.