Read the following sentences and try to reorder them in the correct order. Pay close attention to what needs to come first, and which sentence others depend on.
11. Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, chief.
21. It was comin' back, from the island of Tinian Delady, just delivered the bomb.
31. The Hiroshima bomb.
1. Eleven hundred men went into the water.
2. Thirteen footer.
3. `Cause our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent.
4. So we formed ourselves into tight groups.
5. Right into your eyes.
6. And then, ah then you hear that terrible high pitch screamin' and the ocean turns red and spite of all the poundin' and the hollerin' they all come in and rip you to pieces.
7. I don't know how many men, they averaged six an hour.
8. Up ended.
9. You know that was the time I was most frightened?
10. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.
11. Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, chief.
12. Vessel went down in twelve minutes.
13. You know, you know that when you're in the water, chief?
14. They didn't even list us overdue for a week.
15. And the idea was, the shark would go for nearest man and then he'd start poundin' and hollerin' and screamin' and sometimes the shark would go away.
16. You know the thing about a shark, he's got...lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eye.
17. Y'know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men!
18. On Thursday mornin' chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland.
19. Well... he'd been bitten in half below the waist.
20. Waitin' for my turn.
21. It was comin' back, from the island of Tinian Delady, just delivered the bomb.
22. Didn't see the first shark for about a half an hour.
23. You tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail.
24. Very first light, chief.
25. Sometimes he wouldn't go away.
26. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'.
27. I don't know how many sharks, maybe a thousand!
28. I thought he was asleep, reached over to wake him up.
29. Noon the fifth day, a Lockheed Ventura saw us, he swung in low and he saw us and come in low.
30. I'll never put on a lifejacket again.
31. The Hiroshima bomb.
32. Tiger.
33. Well, we didn't know.
34. The sharks come cruisin'.
35. Sometimes that shark, he looks right into you.
36. Until he bites ya and those black eyes roll over white.
37. Bobbed up and down in the water, just like a kinda top.
38. And three hours later a big fat PBY comes down and start to pick us up.
39. So, eleven hundred men went in the water, three hundred and sixteen men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the 29, 1945.
You may simply write the correct order of numbers in your comment.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
Apprenticeship
This week we're turning our attention towards style. How the author writes is just as important as what the author writes. Read the following passage from Frank McCourt's Angela's Ashes, and pay attention to not only how he uses descriptive phrases, but also how he incorporates dialogue into the scene.
The worst thing in the world is to be sleeping in your dead grandmother's bed wearing her black dress when your uncle The Abbot falls on his arse outside South's pub after a night of drinking pints and people who can't mind their own business rush to Aunt Aggie's house to tell her so that she gets Uncle Pa Keating to help her carry the Abbot home and upstairs to where you're sleeping and she barks at you, What are you doin' in this house, in that bed? Get up and put on the kettle for tea for your poor uncle Pat that fell down, and when you don't move she pulls the blankets and falls backward like one seeing a ghost and yelling Mother o'God what are you doin' in me dead mother's dress?
That's the worst thing of all because it's hard to explain that you're getting ready for the big job in your life, that you washed your clothes, they're drying abroad on the line, and it was so cold you had to wear the only thing you could find in the house, and it's even harder to talk to Aunt Aggie when The Abbot is groaning in the bed, Me feet is like a fire, put water on me feet, and Uncle Pa Keating is covering his mouth with his hand and collapsing against the wall laughing and telling you that you look gorgeous and black suits you and would you ever straighten your hem. You don't know what to do when Aunt Aggie tells you, Get out of that bed and put the kettle on downstairs for tea for your poor uncle. Should you take off the dress and put on a blanket or should you go as you are? One minute she's screaming, What are you doin' in me poor mother's dress? the next she's telling you put on that bloody kettle.
As a response, write a paragraph or two that reflects this style: run-on sentences, unquoted dialogue, and conversational language. It can be about anything you choose, and it doesn't have to be written in the same Irish brogue of McCourt, but it must include those things.
The worst thing in the world is to be sleeping in your dead grandmother's bed wearing her black dress when your uncle The Abbot falls on his arse outside South's pub after a night of drinking pints and people who can't mind their own business rush to Aunt Aggie's house to tell her so that she gets Uncle Pa Keating to help her carry the Abbot home and upstairs to where you're sleeping and she barks at you, What are you doin' in this house, in that bed? Get up and put on the kettle for tea for your poor uncle Pat that fell down, and when you don't move she pulls the blankets and falls backward like one seeing a ghost and yelling Mother o'God what are you doin' in me dead mother's dress?
That's the worst thing of all because it's hard to explain that you're getting ready for the big job in your life, that you washed your clothes, they're drying abroad on the line, and it was so cold you had to wear the only thing you could find in the house, and it's even harder to talk to Aunt Aggie when The Abbot is groaning in the bed, Me feet is like a fire, put water on me feet, and Uncle Pa Keating is covering his mouth with his hand and collapsing against the wall laughing and telling you that you look gorgeous and black suits you and would you ever straighten your hem. You don't know what to do when Aunt Aggie tells you, Get out of that bed and put the kettle on downstairs for tea for your poor uncle. Should you take off the dress and put on a blanket or should you go as you are? One minute she's screaming, What are you doin' in me poor mother's dress? the next she's telling you put on that bloody kettle.
As a response, write a paragraph or two that reflects this style: run-on sentences, unquoted dialogue, and conversational language. It can be about anything you choose, and it doesn't have to be written in the same Irish brogue of McCourt, but it must include those things.
Monday, September 15, 2008
If this blog was any lamer...
...I wouldn't care if I got the 20 points or not.
This week's activity is simple: complete all of the following "if" clauses using the following passage as inspiration.
If this were a movie, I'd probably have to kill off my father in the first scene.
Paul Acampora, Defining Dulcie
If my life were a country song...
If this were a comedy...
If my life were a movie...
If this were a football game...
If this were an episode of The Hills...
If this were a TV show...
If my life were a rap song...
This week's activity is simple: complete all of the following "if" clauses using the following passage as inspiration.
If this were a movie, I'd probably have to kill off my father in the first scene.
Paul Acampora, Defining Dulcie
If my life were a country song...
If this were a comedy...
If my life were a movie...
If this were a football game...
If this were an episode of The Hills...
If this were a TV show...
If my life were a rap song...
Monday, September 8, 2008
Direct Imitation
The following passages are sentences that are distinctly structured. More specifically, they are perfect examples of how you can creatively present lists in your writing. To practice this, I am asking you to create your own sentences using the four models below. You need to create original ways to present these models, though the task is essentially replacing words for words.
Templates are under each passage to guide you.
Refer back to the previous entry for submission rules and grading information.
His room smelled of cooked grease, Lysol, and age.
Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
[place] smells of [thing], [thing], and [thing].
The deputy told me to empty my pockets: two quarters, a penny, a stick of bubble gum, and a roll of grip tape for my skateboard.
Carl Hiassen, Flush
[person] told me to empty my [thing]: [list of three or more things].
That semester I was enrolled in seven classes--math, English, shop, history, gym, French, and chicken.
Gorgon Korman, The Chicken Doesn't Skate
The dash is describing the seven classes. Create a sentence that does this (I bought four things at the store--milk, eggs, bread, and ice cream.)
My papa's hair is like a broom, all up in the air. And me, my hair is lazy. It never obeys barrettes or bands. Carlos's hair is thick and straight. He doesn't need to comb it. Nenny's hair is slippery--it slides out of your hand. And Kiki, who is the youngest, has hair like fur.
Sandra Cisneros, The House on Mango Street.
This sentence focuses on just one characteristic of several people. Do this same with your friends/family using a different feature than hair.
Templates are under each passage to guide you.
Refer back to the previous entry for submission rules and grading information.
His room smelled of cooked grease, Lysol, and age.
Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
[place] smells of [thing], [thing], and [thing].
The deputy told me to empty my pockets: two quarters, a penny, a stick of bubble gum, and a roll of grip tape for my skateboard.
Carl Hiassen, Flush
[person] told me to empty my [thing]: [list of three or more things].
That semester I was enrolled in seven classes--math, English, shop, history, gym, French, and chicken.
Gorgon Korman, The Chicken Doesn't Skate
The dash is describing the seven classes. Create a sentence that does this (I bought four things at the store--milk, eggs, bread, and ice cream.)
My papa's hair is like a broom, all up in the air. And me, my hair is lazy. It never obeys barrettes or bands. Carlos's hair is thick and straight. He doesn't need to comb it. Nenny's hair is slippery--it slides out of your hand. And Kiki, who is the youngest, has hair like fur.
Sandra Cisneros, The House on Mango Street.
This sentence focuses on just one characteristic of several people. Do this same with your friends/family using a different feature than hair.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Let's get started, shall we?
The first activity that we will do this school year is, admittedly, not much fun. I promise that it is the first and last of its kind, though. It's rather simple: Follow this link to an online grammar test, and complete it to the best of your abilities. Remember to provide a name at the beginning.
When you have finished the test, press Submit and review what you scored right or wrong. Copy and Paste these results into the "Leave your comment" box of this blog entry; also, remember to choose the Name/URL identity and use the number I assigned you in the Name box. When you publish your comment, I will review your results and promptly delete them... your classmates will never see them.
You have until 9:00 pm, Thursday, to complete this test and submit the results to this blog. As always, if you have any questions or worries, please talk to me at school. Do not post concerns on this blog. This activity is worth 20 points, and so will every activity that follows on this blog.
If the above link does not work, the test can be found here: http://www.kristisiegel.com/grammartest2.html
And any questions might want to first be run through Daily Writing Tips before they come to me.
When you have finished the test, press Submit and review what you scored right or wrong. Copy and Paste these results into the "Leave your comment" box of this blog entry; also, remember to choose the Name/URL identity and use the number I assigned you in the Name box. When you publish your comment, I will review your results and promptly delete them... your classmates will never see them.
You have until 9:00 pm, Thursday, to complete this test and submit the results to this blog. As always, if you have any questions or worries, please talk to me at school. Do not post concerns on this blog. This activity is worth 20 points, and so will every activity that follows on this blog.
If the above link does not work, the test can be found here: http://www.kristisiegel.com/grammartest2.html
And any questions might want to first be run through Daily Writing Tips before they come to me.
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